Author Archives: DaveB

(To the tune of ‘Hal and Tow’)

Oh take care of your tootsies and they’ll take care of you-o
Cause playing footsie with PA’s a thing you shouldn’t do-o

SWOLLEN TOES, SAUSAGES IN ROWS
THEY CAME UP, MUCH TO HIS DISMAY -O
THROBBING THROUGH THE LONG DARK NIGHT, AND THROBBING THROUGH THE DAY-O
AND GOING FROM BLACK AND BLUE
TO OTHER INTERESTING SHADES-O

Now nails and toes need manicures to keep them neat and nice-o
But scissors are the thing, not speakers falling from great heights-o

Some piggies go to market and some piggies stay at home-o
Some piggies they get splattered into shards of splintered … Continue reading →

Chorus
How did we survive oh How did we survive
If you listen what they’re saying now we shouldn’t be alive
It’s a wonder that we made past the tender age of five
Oh how did we oh how did we survive

Well the paint on cots and beds was laced with zinc and lead
Which we swallowed chewed and sucked without a care
There were no safety caps or lids to deter enquiring kids
and no gates to stop you falling down the stairs.
We’d drink water from the hose till … Continue reading →

Download lyric sheet with chords

Chorus:
Summer is gone, the year’s moving on
There’s mist on the water and shadows are long
leaves they are falling the wild geese are calling
The nights they are drawing and summer is gone

You came with the first golden promise of spring
and you stayed while the summer sun shone
and you’d only say you intended to stay
‘til the sun and the summer was gone

April’s soft rain caused the blossoms to bloom
and May brought the lengthening days
… Continue reading →

By Dave Boulton

I’ll tell thee a sea-faring story
As told to me by my grandfather
Whose great great great great great great great granddad Tom
Helped Drake thrash the Spanish Armada

Down at Plymouth Sir Francis were playing at bowls
With the weather as fair as you’d like
Walter Raleigh were with him, now he’s best known to fame
As the man who invented the bike

Now Queen had give Francis a new set of bowls
He was trying out on the crown green
All in gold they’re inscribed with lions … Continue reading →

Download lyric sheet with chords

Thank you for coming to my birthday bash
Lets have a good time while the nosh and booze lasts
and thanks for the cards and the pressies and stuff
And to those who thought writing a song was enough

Sixty oh sixty it’s great to be sixty
Not shagged out and shattered
But feisty and frisky
Not knocked up and knackered
But ribald and risqué
Oh God but it’s great to be sixty

Now some folks have said and I think they’re sincere
Continue reading →

Download lyrics sheet with chords

You know I’ve been sitting here thinking
Thirty years every day without fail
All the years come and gone, all the folks that’s passed on
And I’m still here to tell you the tale

Chrous:
Just rely on your good friend the sexton
When all around are bereaved and bereft
When the kids take your money and God takes your soul
I’ll take good care of what’s left

Now I’ve got folks in here lived to give cash away
While there’s others who … Continue reading →