Lick ’em and Stick ’em

(It’s about National Insurance Stamps (honest!))

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I never did care for the working though I’ve done time at Doulton and Spode
But I never got given my cards and my coppers I never got sent up the road
Now gaffers and bosses are all just the same always looking for fault and somebody to blame
So I’d kept my eye on the bugger I knew he’d got his eye on me
And as soon as he started his tantrums and tricks I turned to him nonchalantly

And I told him to lick ‘em and stick ‘em, exactly just what he could do with his job
I told him to lick ‘em and stick ‘em, the arrogant, ignorant, mean minded slob
He was going the right way for a smack in the gob so I told him to lick ‘em and stick ‘em

I woke with a start one wet Wednesday I’d slept through my alarm and was Franked
And I knew that the buggers would dock me a quarter I knew that I wouldn’t be thanked
So that afternoon I knocked off at half three Where the hell are you going? the boss says to me
I said I came in late this morning he says what’s that to me you young pup
I said I never did like bein’ late twice in one day so I’m going home now to make up

Now regardless what management tells you and whatever your foreman might say
They’d rather you pull out your tripes for a pittance than get a day’s work for a decent day’s pay
And I’ve always tried to ensure I don’t get myself in lather or work up a sweat
So when he caught me lazing and laying about he starts getting irate and irked
I says don’t start whinging I’m playing your rules you only half pay me I only half work

So before you start touching your forelock and before you start holding your tongue
Remember that bein’ under paid isn’t something most over worked people would wish to prolong
And if you’ve got a job that is sapping your life or a gaffer that smiles while he’s turning the knife
Bear in mind that there’s more than a mortgage, more than just prospects and pay
And although you don’t have to be mad to work there you’d be right off your rocker to stay

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