I Hate Country Music

See ‘em everywhere you go, town and country rodeo
Friday nights they’re everywhere you turn
Tattooed shirts and high-heeled shoes, accents that just don’t ring true
Cowboys in all senses of the word

Two sets of words, one worn-out tune
Singin’ in a vexin’ Texan drawl
I can’t stand Barry Manilow or the Tony Blackburn Show
But I hate country music best of all

In every public bar and lounge when they turn the juke box down
You can bet your boots it’s country music night
Everyone is looking bored and the only people who applaud
Are the cowboy ma’s and pa’s and cowgirl wives


Seen ‘em on the silver screen, flaxen-headed country queens
Mountain Mommas, girls are gettin’ rich
Tammy’s standin’ round in tears, Crystal’s got the chandeliers
And Dolly Parton’s got the greatest hits


Story’s always just the same, he’s leavin’ on the midnight train
Loves his horse, his woman done him wrong
Rhythm box instead of drums goes bum-chica bum-chica bum-chica bum
Doesn’t finish at the same time as the song

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