Mary Christmas

Words: Dave Boulton  Music: Jeff Parton

This was the song that seeded the idea of a alternative Christmas show. (A Christmas Tail) A recording company called GREENTRACKS contacted me and asked if they could use this track on an alternative Christmas compliation they were producing called Bah Humbug. I think you can still find it on line. I think it is the source of the only royalties I have ever had for a song I’ve written, however I definitely wont be splashing out on a Rolls Royce – not even a model of one!


  1. I’m a sad and sorry Santa Clause as you can clearly see

There are no Christmas Baubles Hanging on my Christmas tree

No mistletoe no holly no tinsel by the door

I don’t think Ill be celebrating Christmas anymore



So don’t hang your stocking on the mantle shelf

Don’t leave a treat for Rudolph and myself

Stuff the Xmas turkey and sod the Xmas fuss

Mary’s done a runner with the man from ToysRus


2) She said that she was tired of me always wearing red

Fed up of me spending every Xmas day in bed

Sick of one horse opens sleigh’s to do the weekly shopping

Sick and tired of clearing up the piles of reindeer droppings


3) Then Jason came from ToysRus with his folders and his files

A GCE a Ford Capri and a smarmy salesman’s smile

He said he’d come to help the gnomes the fairies and the elves

But looking back it seems like all he did was help himself


4) He says that I keep turning out the same old dull designs

That modern kids want modern toys reflecting modern times

He says my dolly’s houses and my choo choo trains are silly

That they all want Cindy dolls with busts and action men with willies!


5) I came home on night from working late and there was Mary’s note

Can’t stand the life here anymore is the gist of what she wrote

She said that she was sorry and that I’d soon forget

That she’d gone to live in Wythenshaw in Jason’s Maisonette


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