I once knew a fella name Billy Green
Meanest old bugger that I’d ever seen
Four foot eleven of pure mean streak
When he walked it was a wonder that he didn’t squeak
Chorus:
He was hear all see all say nowt
Eat all sup all pay nowt
When he were about doing owt for nowt
He were always doing for his sen
He wouldnt give you the time of day
Or the dirt from under his finger nails
Lend him a Bob he’d swear it was a tanner
And to get that back you’d need to use a spanner
Billy loaned a tenner from Mike O’Toole
To take down to the local school
School was never Billy’s bag
He was there for the poker and three card brag
To share his winnings Bill felt bound
And he walked to Micks house down the town
But when he saw Mick he couldnt speak
The wallet was willing but the flesh was weak
So when Mike died old Billy knew
He must pay his old friend what was due
So he went right down to the church unbidden
And he slipped Mick a cheque before they nailed the coffin lid on
Then come the day when Billy died
The Heavenly gates they opened wide
Mick came out when Bill was announced
In his hand was a Ten Pound cheque which had bounced
Then Billy said I’ve been so blind
Can you forgive me? Mick just smiled
Then the harps did play and the horns did blow
But Billy couldn’t hear them he was down below