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What’s wrong with the sausage the burger or chop – come on don’t just sit on the fence
If we are what we eat then we ought to eat meat to me that just makes perfect sense
But now we are told if we want to get old we’d better not lozak or laze
We must all take the pledge and just eat fruit and veg and renounce our carnivorous ways
Chorus
Five a day five a day
The wholesomest happiest healthiest way
Eat what they tell you and drink what they say
Five a day five a day five a day
At one time they said go to work on an egg, they said we could trust in the lion
But now they say eggs are the pits and the dregs and it’s clear to me someone was lyin’
And once they said wine was just perfectly fine but they’ve gone back on all that they told ya
And now they say not to partake of Merlot and to steer well clear of Rioja
Drink a full pint of milk-each and every-day I’m sure I once got that advice
Now it’s all full of fat – wonder when they changed that? – How come they made nasty from nice
Once a mars bar a day helped me work rest and play do you folks remember that too?
Now they clog up your veins and they addle our brains, so how’s a bloke know what to do?
When Grandad Tom died he was 4 score and 5 he’d had five a day most of his life
pints of best bitter 5 rounds of best butter, 5 fags and 5 anything fried
“What’s kills you is worry” he’d say “that and hurry, forget indecision and doubt.”
And I smiled when he said “When I’m on me death bed, least I won’t be there dying of nowt.”