Do It Yourself

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I’ve always thought that DIY can teach us self reliance
And putting the odd screw in’s not exactly rocket science
You’ll find so called professionals are shysters to a man
You stand there with your floors awash, they stroll round spoutin’ techno tosh,
Then rip you off for loads of dosh when you know full well you can

Do it yourself, Do it yourself
You’re not a fool, You’ve got the tool, Do it yourself
There’s no need to call the handyman
Forget whatever you had planned
And get to grips with the job in hand
Do it yourself, Do it yourself, Do it yourself

Well I thought it so important to accrue these skills in life
That I took the time and trouble to instruct my lady wife
On how to knock a screw in or prevent your stopcock sinking 
Use bacofoil to mend a fuse, the art of sawing 3 by 2’s
So when there’s little jobs to do, she’d straight away be thinking
So I was most surprised when she comes in the other day

Says the leg’s fell off the table will you put it back again
I thought after all I’ve shown you after all the hours I spent
I didn’t mean it as a snub, it just slipped out and there’s the rub,
‘Cause as I whipped out to the pub can you guess what I said

And when I goes to bed that night I slips my arm around her
I says I’m sorry darlin’ if I acted like a bounder
I cuddles up beside her and I smiles romantically
She gives a sort of sideways glance, repels my amorous advance
And whispers sweetly “not a chance” and turning says to me

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