Back to Basics

Words: Dave Bouton Music: Jeff Parton

Never recorded. This was from the era when John Major was extolling the moral virtues of a traditional family life and why we all needed to get “back to basics”. It was an opportunity too good to miss. In the same period David Mellor, Tim Yo and Mr C. Parkinson seemed to have a slightly different interpretation of the “basics” referred to. Mr Major, of course a little later was found to have been getting “back to basics” with one Mr’s Curry.  I can only assume I misinterpreted the basics he wanted us to get back to or he only meant that us peasants needed to clear up our act. This is the only song that caused stuff to be thrown at me. Some lasses clearly missed the heavy irony and my tongue firmly in my cheek and took umbridge. I think they were a bit tipsy and decided to show their disapproval by throwing beer mats. You can see why if the verses are read out of context….haha. 

Old England’s in a sorry state, a sorry sight to see
things have gone from bad to worse I’m sure that you’ll agree
there’s something wrong we cant go on I think we’ve got to face it
that things will not improve until we all get back to basics

Back to basics for now’s the time to start
Back to basics lets put the horse before the cart
lets show that honour and integrity still have a part to play
while Mellor, Yeo and Parkinson are here to lead the way
(2006 version: while Prescott, Blair and Blunkett are here to lead the way)

Lets get back to when a fellows home was still his castle
to when a fellows family were still his goods and chattels
when chaps were all good eggs and upper lips were never slack
when a women knew her place and her place was on her back

To when men of state would lead us by example every day
when the rule was always, do as I do, not, do as I say
when a man would give respect and in return would be respected
and bonking the odd servant girl was usually accepted

Back to when all Gentleman helped ladies to their carriage
back to when we all revered the sanctity of marriage
when adultery was only for the artist or the actress
and a mistress was a thing between a mister and a mattress

Back to when you wouldn’t dare take any trouble home
Back to when a single pregnant girl was on her own
when single mothers didn’t have the cheek to ask for houses
and any statesmen worth his salt could keep it in his trousers

February 25, 2000

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