Words: Dave Boulton Music: Jeff Parton
This was the song that seeded the idea of a alternative Christmas show. (A Christmas Tail) A recording company called GREENTRACKS contacted me and asked if they could use this track on an alternative Christmas compliation they were producing called Bah Humbug. I think you can still find it on line. I think it is the source of the only royalties I have ever had for a song I’ve written, however I definitely wont be splashing out on a Rolls Royce – not even a model of one!
- I’m a sad and sorry Santa Clause as you can clearly see
There are no Christmas Baubles Hanging on my Christmas tree
No mistletoe no holly no tinsel by the door
I don’t think Ill be celebrating Christmas anymore
Chorus
So don’t hang your stocking on the mantle shelf
Don’t leave a treat for Rudolph and myself
Stuff the Xmas turkey and sod the Xmas fuss
Mary’s done a runner with the man from ToysRus
2) She said that she was tired of me always wearing red
Fed up of me spending every Xmas day in bed
Sick of one horse opens sleigh’s to do the weekly shopping
Sick and tired of clearing up the piles of reindeer droppings
3) Then Jason came from ToysRus with his folders and his files
A GCE a Ford Capri and a smarmy salesman’s smile
He said he’d come to help the gnomes the fairies and the elves
But looking back it seems like all he did was help himself
4) He says that I keep turning out the same old dull designs
That modern kids want modern toys reflecting modern times
He says my dolly’s houses and my choo choo trains are silly
That they all want Cindy dolls with busts and action men with willies!
5) I came home on night from working late and there was Mary’s note
Can’t stand the life here anymore is the gist of what she wrote
She said that she was sorry and that I’d soon forget
That she’d gone to live in Wythenshaw in Jason’s Maisonette