Words: Dave Boulton Music: Jeff Parton
I’ve been wed for twenty years and all the time I’ve been
The Kind of chap smile and take life’s troubles on the chin
But recently I’ve changed my ways and if you wonder why sir
I’ll tell you my sad story and present this sound advice sir
Let sleeping Dogs lie where they will leave every stone unturned
Don’t open doors for skeletons or tin cans labelled worms
Be like the wise old ostrich shove your head into the sand sir
And don’t ask awkward questions cos you might not like the answers
Whilst clearing out the attic tucked behind a dusty drawer
I found a little wooden box I’d never seen before
A slave to curiosity twas in the box I found sir
Two little hen’s eggs nestled and about a thousand pounds sir
I calls the wife I asked her if she’d seen the box before
To my surprise tears filled her eyes her face fell to the floor
A halfwit would have known to leave it none the worse or wiser
But like a fools I stubbornly demanded a reply sir
She said you know I promised to be true when first my vows were made
But from the straight and narrow path from time to time I strayed
Though I could not confess my sins I pledged to make a token
And place a hen’s egg in the box each time my vows were broken
Well I said two eggs in twenty years is no cause for complaint
I was happy to forgive and to forget the incident
And I said in time we’d laugh about the day the box was found sir
Then like a fool I went and asked about the thousand pounds sir
She said you ask about the money though I’ve begged you to refrain
For you know that dwelling on the past can only bring us pain
If it’s the truth that you require then this is how it goes sir
Each time I’d got a dozen eggs I sold them to the grocer
Let sleeping Dogs lie where they will leave every stone unturned
Don’t open doors for skeletons or tin cans labelled worms
Be like the wise old ostrich stick your head into the sand sir
And don’t ask awkward questions cos you might not like the answers