(To the tune of ‘Hal and Tow’)
Oh take care of your tootsies and they’ll take care of you-o
Cause playing footsie with PA’s a thing you shouldn’t do-o
SWOLLEN TOES, SAUSAGES IN ROWS
THEY CAME UP, MUCH TO HIS DISMAY -O
THROBBING THROUGH THE LONG DARK NIGHT, AND THROBBING THROUGH THE DAY-O
AND GOING FROM BLACK AND BLUE
TO OTHER INTERESTING SHADES-O
Now nails and toes need manicures to keep them neat and nice-o
But scissors are the thing, not speakers falling from great heights-o
Some piggies go to market and some piggies stay at home-o
Some piggies they get splattered into shards of splintered bone-o
So take my sound advice and never squash your toes at random
Cause if you do you’ll find that you don’t have a leg to stand on
Dave Boulton
Feb 95